Saturday, July 5, 2014

talk about awkward

Remember the time when you had the biggest crush on someone you barely knew? Your eyes just met but there was something in him that made you look back while walking fast ahead. He wasn't the best one in the crowd but you never knew what snapped. You liked him just like that.

Remember those times you get giddy whenever a notification pops and you see that it actually pertains to him? Whenever your phone vibrates, you quickly take it out, hoping against hope that the message was from him. Those were the days that a simple conversation would take you for hours, with you hoping he'd continue talking and texting back even if it meant just an exchange of smileys.

Remember when he was one of the usual conversation starters among friends? You could go on talking about how your story started and how you still wish it wouldn't ended just like snow when the sun appears; something which slowly melts away. He was, in fact, one of the biggest crushes you ever had. Who would ever thought that you would still remember those moments until now?

How then would you ever forget how your heart broke over the loss of communication, the loss of everything you once had right after one sudden question? You could only guess as there was no closure. You just knew. You just saw.
"In a relationship," 
read on his profile page. Frozen, you didn't know what to say. What happened to those few weeks of kilig? Ah, finally it all ended.  No more sense on waiting. He didn't, anyway. What did you expect?

Years passed by and you tried to forget. Still, you couldn't. He was, after all, one of the milestones, so to speak. But who knew how the universe conspired to make both your roads diverge once more? Who knew he'd end up in the same university as you did? Who knew there would even be more chances, more possibilities to see him once more, to work along side with him and to get to know him after all those growing years?

You, after all this time, haven't forgotten. Awkwardness fills the void of conversation. Panic rushes whenever you catches his eye. What do you do? What do you say? Do you even look okay?

Still, you remind yourself, he wasn't the same boy you used to know. He has grown, as you also have. Why don't you try to get over the past and let it be?

Oh boy. Easier said than done. 
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