your empty words

I am not a princess,

I would never be.

In your eyes I might be perfect

but please, there isn't much to see.

Don't tell me I am pretty;

Please spare me of those lies.

I had enough of words,

Let no tears fall again from my eyes.

Once is enough,

I would not dare do the same

Never shall I trip again

with your perfectly phrased claims.

Please don't shower me with your words,

I might just make another mistake

of falling into your clever traps

and leaving my heart unguarded,

easy to manage, easy to break. 

it's Mom's turn!

Mom always remembers.

From the little things like making sure my brother and I don't switch sandwiches for recess because she knows I like mine toasted especially if it's cheese to the big stuff like everyone's birthdays and making sure that person enjoys their day, she never forgets. 

Well, today, we are ones to remember! It's her day! :) I might not be as selfless as she is but I do hope I'm getting at least halfway there. She is indeed an amazing woman. She could have been a very successful nurse, seeing that she's one of the best (well, where do you suppose we got our genes? :P), but she chose to stay and take care of us. She was there to guide us with our ABCs and arithmetic (Dad took over when algebra started :)) ). Hers was the face you see during times when my brother or I had to perform onstage. She was a phone call away when she could't come and see the spotlight shine on us (hello, national events hihi thank you LLCI *insert hearts*). Hers was the voice that assured me that I wasn't going to bleed to death when I had my first (Yes, I was overreacting but who didn't?) The point is, she never missed a scene, a defining moment, a milestone. 

She was always there and I could never ask for anyone better than Mom.

Thank you for showing me how to be an empowered woman.

You never settled for less. You fought for what you stood was right. You never let anyone dampen your spirit. Growing up, I saw that image in you. Thank you for always reminding me that it's okay to stand out as long as my feet remain rooted on the ground. :)

Thank you for wiping off the tears whenever they make their way across my cheeks.

Whenever I feel that the universe is conspiring against me, thank you for always being there. It might not always be sunny but you are there, with an umbrella at hand, ready to protect me from the rain.

Thank you for teaching me to take the risks and brave the unknown.

You always say, "Well, better do it now that regret it later. Who knows what doors can open for you, dear. Go. We will always support you." With those words, I found myself and thank you for allowing me to see the world in my eyes, with some cues from yours. :)

Thank you for tucking us in at night. 

Yours was the voice that assured us that no monster can ever be in sight. Even after all the hard day's work (and staying up all night to ensure that we never forget our multiplication and the different Philippine regions), thank you for those good night kisses to bid all those nightmares away.

Thank you for accepting us for who and what we truly are.

You never forced us to be fit in. You didn't care how different we can be.  Thank you for giving us the freedom to choose where we can be happy. 

Thank you for never giving up. 

Your patience is truly remarkable. Seeing how stubborn we can both be, thank you for choosing to stay. 

For the countless moments we've seen your support, thank you. 

Indeed, you are a proud stage mom and we would always love you for that.

No matter what happens, thank you for always being understanding.

Sometimes, it makes me wonder how you handle all the stress. We three can be quite a handful, too. Indeed, you are one superwoman and that just makes us prouder. 

Surely, there can never be no other Mom as amazing as you are.

Happy birthday Mom! I love you to the moon and back! Enjoy today! :)))))

PS. I got the idea from this Disney blog post! Still, the words are mine :)

how amazing you can ever be

   The heart is a fragile little thing. One careless move and it could break, break into millions of pieces that sometimes you can hardly put back in one piece. It would be a whirlwind of emotions and yes, it would hurt. But it would be worth while. It would be a time that you can look back into and be proud that you've taken the risk and survived to tell the tale. 

  However, you cannot just send yourself into the battlefield. You cannot just go rushing into the world despite your willingness to be that one who clears the cobwebs. Your heart needs to grow. It needs to equip itself with the  It takes time to be ready. It takes time to arm yourself to face the pain and joys of loving. It takes time to make yourself as whole as it can be before it starts being broken again.

   Be patient. It is all what it takes. Learn to wait. Learn to take things one step at a time. It can be a slow and tedious journey but it would pay off. 

   Don't get your hopes up high too fast. Take it easy. Do it as if you are climbing up a ladder, one rung at a time. It is okay to strive for something you want but don't exert yourself too much. You'll get there soon.

  Don't let your fears speak loudly. It's okay to be afraid just so you won't let them define you. We are all human after all and we constantly worry about the things that might come. Take it slow. You'll conquer those worries. Believe and you will.

   Mistakes happen. Don't be too hard on yourself. Trust that you will do better next time it happens. Trust that you learned from the experience.

   Fall but know how deep the fall can be. Don't go rushing blindly and plummet to your defeat. It is okay to find yourself with certain people who eventually run off and leave you hanging. There are always those kinds of people who know little about being there for somebody. Allow yourself to cry. Heal. Just don't stay that way. Pick up the pieces and hold your head high. Smile and believe that everything would be alright. Trust that it would be and the tides would soon roll itself on your favor.

 

  The thing is, you can be amazing. You can the pitter-patter on someone's closed window. You can be the sunshine on someone's cloudy day. You can be the cold, refreshing drink after that long, tedious run. You can be all sorts of things far greater than you can ever imagine but still you can be overlooked. You can stand over the rest but to others, you can be just the plain doughnut. But don't worry. Someday, someone would recognize that amazing person in you and that someone would be the one for keeps.

  But today, enjoy what life brings. Live today. Be brave in facing tomorrow and accepting yesterday. Move on but remember what everything taught you. Life is an adventure. Go and show the world the amazing, marvelous you. 

   

 

holding back

There are things that I wanted to tell you,
thoughts I have once buried deep
now can no longer be subdued
they are simply not mine to keep
and there are things you want to tell me
tucked in the small corner of your mind
I can sense within you a sea
of emotions and reason entwined

But somehow I got lost into translation
I kept my silence and you held yours
And I am left to wonder what if I took courage
what if I told you what I felt,
what I thought,
what I knew,
would I still be writing
all these metaphors of you?

Maybe I miss you. Maybe I don't.

Maybe I miss you. Maybe I don't. 

And boy, should you know that I am always tempted to 

make a call,

send you a simple text,

check your Facebook,

or even ask your friends

just to know how you are doing, how you are coping, how you are living life without us.

It broke my heart and it still does until now.

Yes, believe me, it did.

But I had to make that choice.

It was difficult, far more painful than you realize

but we both know it couldn't work,

couldn't stand,

couldn't go on.

I had my doubts. I had my own what-ifs

but I have to believe that this is the only way for us to grow.

There are days that I want to take it back,

Days when I longed for a text asking how my day went,

a call just to hear me on the other end,

a joke even how lame it sounded just so you know you made me smile.

But I have to be firm.

I cannot give what I do not have

and it would be selfish of me to keep you waiting.

Time-- it is one of the best things you can give to someone

and I am sorry I am in no position to give that away right now.

You might read this.

You might still be checking up on me.

I can only hope.

Still, right now, I wish for your happiness.

I wish that you remain steadfast in your choices.

I wish that despite all, life continues to bring you joy.

For now, I am holding on to the possibilities but I am okay. I know you are too. 

You will be, eventually, hopefully.

And I say goodbye to the phone calls.

I shall keep my distance

and sail along life just as I know you would.

Maybe someday we'll see each other along the way

and who knows we might be able to catch up with what we put off from way back.

But I could not tell.

Perhaps I never would.
I can only wait,
wait until all things fall into place
and I might be surprised just to see them
all in places I ever wished for them to be.