Monday, January 19, 2015

"We need to talk."

Have gone mushy out of the blue. Haha oh well. :)

“We need to talk.”

Always that line.
Always that tone.
Even if you never hear as I only sent it through the phone.

I wanted to talk, wanted to hear
Your voice saying everything between us is clear.
A simple text would have been okay
Just once was enough
I never meant every minute of the day.
I was never the imposing kind,
I never wanted to make you feel caged and confined.

But clearly, that was just too much to ask.
Your hands were just too full of unfinished tasks.
You never run out of reasons and just like that,
I was just the shirt, taken off, just because it’s no longer in season.

It seemed a lifetime ago
when you were just the boy who told me he has always loved me so.
Always thoughtful, always full of care
Always has time for me to spare.

Whatever happened to that boy I once knew
Who faithfully waited and worried even if it was just the simple flu?
Whatever happened to the sweet words partaken and exchanged?
Don’t tell me they were only words to fill up the space.
Don’t tell me they were only moments mindlessly spun into place.

I should have known
I was only a mere conquest,
Another prize to be won,
Another badge to your crest.
Just like all the other girls you tease
With your smile full of charm enough to buckle anyone’s knees.

They tell me I am foolish and that I would never deny
I am still eager to listen and give us another try
But waste this chance and there will be no more
We will then just be another closed door.

Saturday, January 10, 2015

hello, blog.

And I finally found time to write.

I swear I had time waaaaaay before this but you know me. I was never good with resolutions. Hence, no, I wasn't able to keep my promise to myself. I wasn't able to write more nor was I able to read more non-academic books the past year and I doubt I'd be able to do so during this time. Still, it is worth a try.

Yes, yes. CSIW has finally passed and I no longer have the excuse of saying, "Oh no. Sorry can't make it with dinner out with you guys tonight. I have a meeting with the CORE." I can't say,"Oops. Sorry! Got to go! Have to rush since I have my deliverables due tonight," since that would already be lying. The event's over and I (deliberately) have  time---- as if there is no 40-page reading that is waiting eh? 

Point is, I have more time to write and go out with friends again! :) (Shoutout to XX who have been clearly guilt-tripping me for missing Claire's debut and the block party. Ha-ha thanks guys but I know you know that what I've been doing is for the Filipino youth.)

And you guys must be proud of me. I went out with a few friends last night to catch a movie! #YaaayProgressForEllasSocialLife. After being down for sometime (let's not go to that; my heart only breaks), it was time to move on, pick up the pieces, start over again, face the future with the chin held high blah blah oh you get the picture. =) But yes, I watched Love, Rosie with Nica, Alreen, Claire, Pia, and Vince last night and dear me, it was a sure way to have my heart broken again.

The story was just perfect and I can't help but go along others when they went, "Awww," when Rosie and Alex saw each other again after being separated for a long time. I don't know why but I always put myself in the shoes of the character when I read books or watch movies. It seemed that I felt what she felt when she let their chance go by. You knew she liked him too but she was just so afraid of losing the friendship. She was not ready to risk it and when she finally had the courage to tell him what she felt, damn Alex had to go rushing marry this girl whom I refuse ti discuss because I never liked any inkling of her personality.

But yes, the movie (and the book which I am currently burying my nose in) was all about taking chances. All the lost opportunities could have been that moment but because they were so caught up with idea that it would never work, they ended up just like that-- lost and will always be referred to as almost. Still, I'm glad of how it ended. (And good heavens, Sam Claflin will be the death of me) It proves that happy endings still happen. Only if you make the right choices in the end.

And yes, I cried. At the movie theater. Like all the other girls I was with. While Vince, the only boy in the company and who was sitting strategically in the center of us 5, was laughing out loud. Yes, he was laughing. The whole time.

I swear I am not watching a romantic comedy with Vince ever again.
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