Breaking Hearts

I know it isn't easy but perhaps it is for the best. You've lost someone you hold dear by calling it off. You've tried your best to break it gently but it seems there is no other way. You gave him hints but he didn't seem to connect the dots. You tried and that's what matters. After all, there is no sugarcoating rejection. No matter what form it takes, it would always hurt . 

He might say that he is the only one hurting but he will never know that it pained you, too. Who ever said it was easy? No stuff involving emotions has ever been simple. It's a two-way process. Every decision, even how small it might seem to be, affects the whole. 

Don't say you're sorry. You did what you had to do. Yes, it might hurt but then again, ignoring the reality would only make it worse. Give him time. Give him space. Let him heal. Allow him to find himself again. Let him find all his broken pieces and fix whatever he has left. As for you, do the same. Remember that life goes on. I cannot promise you things would get back as they once were but I can assure you that you would find the answer. Maybe not now, not soon, but eventually you will. 

For now, let the world spin. Go with its flow. Hurl yourself to a whole new perspective. Everything will get better in time. Yes, in time. 

Think again

Hey. 

I know life has been pretty hard on you lately. You're on the verge of giving up everything. You've come to a point where you're just about to break down. Basically, you've lost everything you've worked hard for. What's the point of fighting when the world is just messed up? Isn't it better to just let go, to hell with them all?

It's tempting to say yes, to forget about the stress, to run away but do you really think that hiding from the frustrations would solve your problems? Would your refusal to see things clearly set everything right?

Think again. This time, think of the larger picture.

Hold on. If you think you are alone in your battle, then clearly you haven't been thinking long enough. Your friends are here. Wouldn't your choice to let go hurt them more than this one instance of failing? Yes, you are at your deepest point right now but that doesn't mean you can't climb back again. This, this inevitable fall, doesn't define you. I know it takes a while to accept the reality but you have to move on. You have to learn from the past and keep moving. 

Know that we'll always be here. Life wouldn't be the same without you. If you think we'd be happier living years without your friendship, oh well. Think again. Losing a friend would be too much to handle. Losing him to depression would be much more. Know that you are important, just as every person in this planet is. What you do is special. No one can ever replicate that. Know that we care. Know that we are always here.

If you're choosing to give up without any fight, think again. Just please. Always remember. Think again. 

post-CAMP reverie

Alaaf! 

That's CAMP speak for "Hello!" It has been a while since I last attended NYSTESC. Back when I was also a camper, I've used (or more likely, abused) the CAMP Lexicon greeting fellow science clubbers in various terms such as "Salutey! and "Privyet!" I never thought I would be the one holding that number, leading a flock of curious and enthusiastic kids on their 5-day journey with PSYSC. 

The experience is surreal. Where do I begin? I never realized I would be accepted into the staff list, knowing that we were new members in the organization (13B represent!). We were fresh meat. I, for one, was only holding on to the knowledge I gathered through my high school experience. What do we know about managing 40 kids for almost 6 days? How do we even keep them company? Would they even like me? 

Such thoughts were with me but still, I held on to my desire to become part of this year's Legendary Camp. I held on to my faith that I would have my own set of kids, make memories with them along the way and touch lives. That courage to sign up was the first step. There was no other way but up. 

The road was tough. Who said being a facilitator was as easy as signing up and being accepted? Saying yes to the challenge required commitment and time. It demanded attention. From daily trips to UP for practices and meetings and late-night musings for that 10-minute faci presentation to hot afternoons spent scurrying for that detailed dress code, PSYSC won me over. My 3-week summer break was all for this organization and I have yet to regret making that decision.

Let this post stand as my thank-you to all the people who made this first time faci experience possible.

To the NEC, thank you for entrusting this responsibility to us, 13B. Thank you for believing in our capabilities and for giving us the opportunity to serve the youth. I know it was a tough decision to make but thank you taking the risk. :) 

To the CAMP Core, wooooh! Without you and your undying efforts, this camp would never be possible. :) 1600 participants? Bring it on! You guys made #CAMPCEBU a tough one to beat ;)

Fellow Gesters, we made it! Thank you for being clingy, fun and sabaw all in the same time. :') What stress? What sleep? :) Thank you for making it the workload light despite the harsh reality. To the older ECATs (hiii Kuya D, Kuya Dar, Kuya Rovir, Kuya Jake, Ate Des, Kuya Kim), thank you for being patient with us first timers. It is through your guidance and super jam-packed knowledge we were able to fit in the roles of a full-time faci :)) 

Batch 13! What more can I say? :) SO MUCH LOVE :3 *insert hearts here haha*

Silly as can be :)

And of course, to my subcamp 11. thank you so much for being the best! We might not be the best but I assure you, you are the best in my eyes. To my first batch of kids,  I give you all my love :)) Most of you guys are first time campers so I guess I'll see you next summer! I do hope I was able to make a mark in your life as a camper. I might not be the best faci in town but I do hope you saw my efforts to make this CAMP the best one yet for you, kids. :) Magpakabibo pa rin! Push yourselves to your limits! Keep the fire burning! 

I don't want to end this post yet =(  Be ready for the post-CAMP feels trip :))) These are some things the org has made me experience this summer. ;)

1) Climbing the steep slopes in HPMR, loading and unloading supplies to and from the makeshift staff room. Define. ;)

2) Facing agitated teachers at the Sec Area and keeping your cool. Wooh this is grace under pressure. 

3) Add making at least 800 activity IDs for the participants. Kamusta naman ang mga sugat sa kamay? ;)

Not quite the photo I was looking for but same thought goes! :P

4) Waking up even at 3 am just to catch that 5-minute bath time allotted just for you ;)

5) Surviving and working through 2 hours of sleep (and sometimes, even less) all for your kids! :))

6) Being the rant absorber for your kids especially when it comes to mealtimes. Huhuhu sorry kids but I hope food from Day 3 made up for the lousy, bland ones from the days before :)

7) Eating at the most random times of the day. Food fills in the gaps for sleep. :P

8) Learning to be nocturnal for once. Evals, please :P

9) Going with the flow! If this is what makes the kids smile, then so be it. ;)

Stuck with this guy for 48 minutes. Huhu CAMP Fair pls

Gesters for a week! :) Our outfits say them all ;)

10) Being a superwoman for 5 whole days! 40 kids to facilitate through lectures, challenging workshops and that nerve-wrecking field trip? Bring it on!

11) Occupying almost half of the plane. Yep, they have to wait until we boarded. It would be such a loss without us :P

Not everyone yet :)

12) Sleeping in any way possible. Bahala na kung saan abutin ng antok, basta nakatulog. Yun na yun! :)

Kahit ano na lang :P

13) Keeping a smile on your face despite the stress and the sleeplessness. All for the kids :)))

I have too much feels for this event but those would only make this post so tedious to read and follow. :) Guess this is one CAMP to cherish after all :))))