Thursday, February 13, 2014

what it takes to love

It's the time if the year again where Hallmark earns a lot from all those mushy paper-cut greetings and flowers and chocolates go all the rage. This is when all things are good for two. From shirts to mugs, everything seems to echo what we all know. When February kicks in, expect tons of sugary expressions of love. After all, this month's dedicated to all those drama. 

 Not everyone's lucky to find that certain someone, though. Not everyone managed to meet that guy/girl who'll make this month "extra special." For those who rather have time just for themselves, Facebook and Twitter are the perfect outlets for expressing "sawi" posts or "Yes, I'm alone, yet I'm alone and freee!" messages. Certainly, anyone can attest to that. I, for one, have seen a number even before February came knocking on our doors.

  Well, love is such an overused term, an exaggerated concept. Along the way, people forget what it really means.

  I am no expert in relationships. My heart has never been open to commitments. Maybe just not yet. I may not be ready to open myself to these personal attachments but I believe I've seen enough movies, heard enough songs, read enough books and felt enough emotions to come up with my own thoughts. To you, this might not be the perfect definition but this is what I see. This is what it takes to love.

   To love is to be vulnerable.

CS Lewis has found the right words to describe what happens when you love because in this game of emotions, you take risks. You open yourself to a wide array of possibilities that range from the most predictable to the most absurd. No, you don't get to choose what happens next. One moment, it's all picture perfect then all of a sudden, it's one of those heartbreaking scenes you watch in movies. After all, love is not always sunny and bright.

   To love is to be brave. 

You don't meet Mr. Right in a single snap and as much as you try to be Ms. Right for that someone, it doesn't work. It's like forcing one puzzle piece to fit in a space that wasn't meant to be. Your heart might be broken from loving all the wrong things. Yes, it is alright to feel pain because that's where it all starts. Love starts with the choice to be open to the things you never thought you'd feel.

   Love is not cultivated overnight. It develops through time and is not handled in haste. It takes patience to wait for something you are not even sure will work. It takes courage to accept those doubts and still be willing to take those chances.

   To love is to have faith.

As much as others tell you that it's hopeless, still you are willing to try one more time. You never give up because you honestly believe that he can. In love, there's always a way. If something goes wrong, there's
always tomorrow. Everything can be fixed. It might take some time but you know that it will always work out. You just have to trust and believe that it could happen.

  However, there's always the trap of believing too much. It might be hard but sometimes, we have to accept that some things are not what they seem. They cannot and will not be the things we ultimately hope for. It takes courage to accept the bitter truth. Otherwise, you'll end up fooling yourself and love will always be out of your reach because love? It sticks with reality. It is never far-fetched as many people thought it is.

   To love is to accept all flaws.

He might be smart but he's sloppy and careless. She's pretty but she doesn't know how to make her way in the world. Cliche it might sound, yes, no one is perfect. As much as you want to believe, no one can ever fit into the cookie cutter you have molded. That guy in your dreams will stay that way. He'll forever be a fantasy because admit it, there is no guy out there who can be handsome, smart, thoughtful and everything else you want to be all at the same time. Each has their own flaws and it takes love to recognize those little things and accept them.

  If you only love what you see, what will happen if those things fade away? What will happen if he's no longer the handsome face you see in magazines? What will happen if she loses that jet-black hair and curvy waist?
   If you only love what you hear, what if those sweet nothings stop? What if, one day, he doesn't call back and tell you how much he loves you? What if she never responds?

   It takes effort to see beyond what is visible, to hear beyond what is said. That is where love starts.

   To love is to sacrifice.

You can never have it all. As much as you love someone and give him your all,  he just doesn't feel the same way. Love is accepting defeat. It is making someone happy even if it means losing him in the process. Love is accepting the pain, knowing that this is what is right. You know the pain will soon pass but that doesn't excuse you from feeling hurt and crestfallen. It is okay to cry as long as you don't settle for that. Maybe now's not the right time. Maybe he's not yet the one. To love is to sacrifice your happiness for what it's worth. It is trusting that in time, things will fall in place.

To love is many other things I have yet to know and I am bidding my time, constantly waiting and learning as life unravels itself before me. Happy Valentines! :)
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