finals #2

I have my Math finals in 6 hours and I'm still not done reviewing. Oh boy.

Well, I did study ahead last week but I feel that there are too much chem stuff still going on my head and I fear that those would entangle with my mathematical knowledge. I might just accidentally use those chemical formulas for deriving new equations which I hope I won't be careless in solving this time around.

Then there's that final paper in Filipino I have to finish by Thursday. 

This is only the beginning. 

Good luck, college version of me. 

this love-hate relationship

We barely have nine more days till the end of the semester. Just nine more days and we're no longer what they call fresh meat. Nine more days and we'll say goodbye to being the bottom of the social ladder. :)

  Well, I don't know whether to classify that as a good or bad thing. I can't even imagine how demanding sophomore year could be. Friends from the upper-class relate stories of struggle with a bit of fun along the way. As they say in Health Sci, pass sophomore year and you're good to go. Hey, I look forward to my legality but there's org chem and stat! <//3 Here comes the majors too. I know that sooner or later, they'll be around the corner but am I really that equipped to face them already?

  Oh well. 

  Before I start worrying about sophomore year, I still have to pass this round of finals. Bring it on. 

 Still, allow me to procrastinate even just for a few more minutes. I need to work on the problem sets for that last long test in Chemistry but I just can't let this day pass without me writing about that consultation with Sir Popa. :)

    You see, back in high school, I was not one of those who had a hard time with Filipino. Well, except for that part where I really had to roll my R's which until now I can never do. I looked through my curriculum and there was that subject again. I thought everything would be a breeze. Well, just like everything else in college, that changed.

    Who knew Filipino could be so demanding? With all those long readings and deeper-than-the-ocean analysis, the subject grew from a gentle breeze to an intimidating hurricane. I barely survived those literary uptakes with Sir Yol during the first semester. Then, as luck would have it, we've got Sir Allan Popa for Fil 12.

    I've got my hands down to one of the most brilliant literary minds I've ever met. Sir Popa is just amazing. Don't believe me? Google him and get back to me if you ever have doubts on his credentials. One hour and a half isn't even enough for him to discuss an essay just because he has loads to say about what the essay really is about. Having him as a professor has its downside, too. He can be super demanding with your time. Girl, you've got to give Filipino a portion of your time. Just reading one of all those essays takes you at least an hour to finish! Plus, he has super high expectations that would just push you to your limits. 

   That's also the reason why I am just so happy right now. You see, we have to make this final paper regarding a certain topic related to our course plus we've also have to launch a campaign to address the issues tackled on our individual research. I've always averaged just a C on the parts of my research-- from the topics through the most basic outline. It seemed that even how much I tried, my best wasn't just enough. That was why I was having cold feet for today's consultation. I was barely prepared as I was finishing a lab report due on the same day. T^T Oh well. Better show him what I've got so far. Better like these than none at all.

    I've been sleeping late these days because of too much requirements. They've literally piled on my desk right now and it gives me a headache just thinking about how to finish them on time. With fingers crossed, I presented my proposal (well, more like, refreshed and updated him where I am now). I didn't even need to remind him which topic I was working on because he remembered! :))) He told me that I was doing okay so far and just needed to be careful with my semiotic analysis. :))

   Call me shallow but THAT WAS ALREADY A COMPLIMENT! :))))

    Okay. Now you know why I've got this love-hate relationship with Filipino. Back to work, then. Hello, we meet again, Chemistry. *sigh Sir Gross please. :'(

update!

I haven't been posting too much about my app process for PSYSC lately. Guess I just have too much stuff on my plate these past few weeks. Papers on just about everything, pop quizzes, discussions from the reaction of acids and bases to Creon's tragedy, lab reports-- ugh. Name it. I won't make this blog an outlet for rants and hate posts though. That would be too depressing to read even for myself. 

   Anyway, today was my first facilitating experience as an applicant! :) We're almost there. Few more steps and we'll be part of the org once and for all! *insert evil laugh here haha kidding* I haven't taken the final exam yet and boy, I don't know what to expect for the final interview. Apps' Night is already on Monday!(which is basically tomorrow since the clock has already struck 12 hihihi) Well, I just hope I'd be in the right state at those times. Been in an emotional roller coaster ride because of acads. Oh well. Good luck to me.

   Going back, we've just had BASIC today (by today, I meant yesterday. Gosh. I have no sense of time.) I wasn't going to volunteer in the first place since we had to practice for our batch performances. Yes, performances. Magis at its finest! ;P However, there was that feeling tugging me to sign up. *high school feels all over again!* What could I do? I just wanted to be there. :) After debating with myself for the longest time ever, I just sent in the form. Oh well. I'll find ways to catch up with the practices. Sorry, 13B. Love you still. :)

   So there. I woke up when the hallways were still so dark I had to remind myself that it was already morning and no, there wouldn't be anyone or anything waiting for me in that corner, bidding its time to scare me away.Still, I was rushing to the rendezvous. See? I have no sense of time. 

    I was in a hurry as it was almost 7 and I was still on the jeep. Then, I remembered. The overpass. Oh gods. No way I'm passing that way again. If ever I'd be given the chance to find a detour, I would! Guess you can conclude how I felt. I was way up the ground and no, I wasn't feeling secure. Gosh. Those railings are really unreliable. You can even feel the overpass shake from the traffic below. Nope. Not ever doing that again. 

   Apparently, I've been hurrying for no reason. Arrived there at 7 (or some 5-10 minutes past that) and just saw Ate Joanna alone. Yep. So much for the rush. Oh well. Better early than never! :P

   It took almost an hour and a half before we finally left for the venue. And boy, I was so wrong. The place was amazing. Going to a school like that was bliss. Well, technically speaking. It was small compared to my high school but I swear, theirs is equally awesome. I don't know about the curriculum but the place impressed me. Wow. Just wow.

   Although there was just a small number of participants, I had fun! :) Just a way to sum it all up because I'm just too lazy to type more about the event itself. ;) Talked and bonded with some of the NECATs around plus four of my co-apps who coincidentally were all boys. It wasn't that hard being the only rose among the thorns. :) And guess who the speakers were?

KUYA GINO and KUYA JOBI! What a lucky encounter! :) Before, they were my facilitators. Now, they were the ones speaking in front! What made it even more awesome is that they were there together. Isn't it amazing? :))

   Had tons of great food that day as well. I'll catch up with my prep for that PE exam the day after. :P

   More "groupies" from that day below! :P 

   Wooh. UUBE later! Must finish this post lab if I really wanted to go. Push! #leggo :))

too much hassle for this week

Who ever said college will be a breeze has a messed-up definition of simple and carefree. I've got a paper due tomorrow but guess what, I'm here again, in my blog, writing about the most random thoughts ever. Isn't that what my blog is for anyway? Why am I here then fiddling around with time as if it would stop just so I can finish this writing assignment?

   Simple.

   I ran out of ideas.

   I never knew when I stopped being paranoid once I looked at the clock with its face reading 10 pm, knowing that I've still got loads of stuff to ramble about. It's college. 10 pm is still too early to panic. I've grown accustomed to cramming essays that usually took me days and sometimes even weeks to write.

    THIS. IS. BAD.

    Oh well, I've got to work this fil paper. When did Filipino grow so complicated?! Don't judge me. I have great love for my country but but but . . .

    I THINK I'M FAILING FIL. I don't seem to meet my professor's expectations. I have nothing against him. He's such an amazing, brilliant writer who wittingly scrutinizes every single detail. Who knew such simple color scheme and petty choice of words can mean so much? Yes, he's cool, poetic and all that but I cannot be what he wants me to be. I feel terrible. I feel that my knack for writing suddenly left me hanging along the shadows. When will I ever finish these two papers? One's due tomorrow (Oh dear Lord. I need divine intervention.) while the other one's creeping to surprise me in two weeks' time. (Is that still even considered a surprise?)

    BUT NO. This shouldn't define me. Of course I can do this! I survived the first sem, didn't I? I'll get pass through this too. Wooh. Can luck take me somewhere far off this time?

    Oh gods. I wish. 

ARSAFest hangover

The official photos are out! Yes, I've waited so long for this one. Just needed to change my profile picture and voila! 

This photo commemorates the partying side of me. Just this once. Before my life goes to a wreck. Now, I officially say hiiiiiiii to my Filipino paper. Wooh. Best of luck. 

Last Friday night ;)

Thank God It's Wednesday!

Halfway through the last week of class for 2013!

Although the day didn't start off the way I planned it to be (I was hoping I could still review early before my first class, 8:30 Literature), it was a day worth the hassle and stress. :))

Because I crammed studying for that first Chemistry long test and hit the sack at around 2 am, my body clock cannot help but adjust to what my exhausted little shell demands. To no one's surprise, I went to class, rushing late. Well, at least I had time to grab some coffee.

The same routine went on, actually. Literature. Chemistry. Quiz unfinished. Ranting about the fact that I knew the answers but time suddenly went haywire and left me with some questions unanswered. Dance aerobics. Back to the dorm.

My bed is indeed a siren, luring me with her captivating lullaby. Indeed, one must congratulate me for standing up against her calls. :))) Instead of sleeping in, I had a date with my Chemistry notes (I'm tired of Chemistry too. =.= but allow me to digress please.) and I said goodbye to my life online for a while.

Studying drained me. Oh well, those 5 hours solving sample problems made a difference, anyway! :) Although I was still betting against time, I had fun answering the long problems! :D The multiple choice part was confusing though. Since when did multiple choice be as simple as the alphabet ? It's the same with life and all the crossroads it poses. You must always choose. At least in an examination, there's always a right option. That's not always true with life, though. One choice leads to another and you'll end up thinking, "What if I chose the other one?"

Now, where did that come from?!

Moving on, after a grueling match of wits, IT WAS TIME TO CELEBRATE! Who wouldn't rejoice over the fact that you survive a long test? I always do, by the way. :)))

UP was having its annual Lantern Parade and it would have been fun to go and witness the lights over the city skyline but then, the obedient little daughter inside me opted to let the chance go. It was a tough choice! :( I had to choose between this and my block Christmas party this Friday. I couldn't miss our block's first holiday get-together. It's a milestone I should be part of. That's why, sayonara, UP Lantern Parade. Maybe next time. :')

I would have called it a day but then, Claire, one of my groupmates for our Food Innovation Project, called to update me regarding our proposal. And.....

Ella: Hey there.

Claire: Girl, I HAVE NEWS!
Ella: Yep, ano latest chikka? (Yep, what's the latest gossip?)
Claire: *mumbles something*

Ella: What? Can you just send me a text message or anything? I'm still having dinner at KFC!
Claire: WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FIRST PLACE! DOC WONG LIKED OUR PROPOSAL AND WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FIRST PLACE!

Ella: OMAAYGAWD SERYOSO?!?

Let me just emphasize it again,

OUR PROPOSAL GOT THE PANEL'S ATTENTION AND TA-DA! HELLO, RESEARCH TURNED TO REALITY! :)))

That research project slash paper slash proposal was no small feat. Our group was mainly composed of freshmen plus a mentor who is a senior from the same course. We spent nights cramming that paper! (Yep, I know. We are master crammers haha) We faced the crowd and defended those ideas. The risk paid off! :))))

I was too happy to function well upon hearing the news. Literally jumping from joy, I seemed not to have any other care in the world. Never mind the cars passing me by. I'm sure they were wondering who's that girl skipping each step. But i just had to. :))))))))))

We didn't get bragging rights as champs, though. Got second place because our project lacked something. Still, it is a huge deal! :))))) Only a few more revisions and we are good to go! Doc Wong also teaches Thesis for our course and you know what's another good thing to celebrate, he is considering exempting us for this class! :))))))

The day really turned out better than I have expected. :)))))) Now, exhaustion is overcoming me. I was able to survive straight 24 hours without napping though! Time to log out. Ciao~ :))

Throwback to Freshman Year!

What's another new thing here in this university? We have VALENTINES in AUGUST! Since it's Thursday, let's throwback to my freshman year in high school. Taking a trip down the memory lane last night while refreshing my mind for chemistry, I found this! This was a poem I received on Valentines five years ago. :) 

You and Me... Maybe? Possibly? Can We?

At days that I am lonely

I can hear your voice saying Hi.

But when I see you with another guy

I can feel you saying goodbye.

Whenever you’re not around 

I always look at the picture 

when we were together.

I thought that there is no true love forever,

that’s why I won’t say never.

When the world may bring you down to tears.

That is the one I really fear.

Myself crying for your happiness but only for you.

I have many things to tell you.

They’re hard to explain.

You and me can possibly be.

As you can see your reflection in a mirror.

Your heart is the reflection of yourself.

If it breaks, I’ll lose you.

Just for you a lonely stranger.

Spending his life in the meadows

With only his friend as his shadow.

This is me the one you talk to everyday.

You think of me as a weird guy 

with no reason in life.

I see myself as a book with many stories 

that are ruined by some.

But they’re not enough for you.

Love is never meant to be written on paper 

for it will just fade away.

Words can be deceiving in many ways.

If today is my last day.

I’ll forget what you said yesterday.

I’ll give up everything just to spend time with you.

All of these are true if it is really you.

Reading this today made me smile. Thank you for this memory. You know who you are. :)

Here comes the long test

The long wait is over!

After two suspense-filled weeks of  anticipating this moment, I was finally reunited with my Chemistry answer sheet. Perhaps I was very excited that I went up to my professor and got the wrong paper for myself. Hopping and skipping, I went back to my seat, proudly telling those who asked that I got a 91. Well, it took me a few more seconds to realize that it wasn't my penmanship and so I checked.

Boo. The paper wasn't mine.

Quickly I returned the paper back to my professor and she, along with my block mates,  laughed at my honest mistake. Back in my seat, I found myself waiting for it. Urgh. Time seemed to slow down.  Oh, chem long test! Where art thou? :<

On and on she called out names and gave back the answer sheets but where was mine? My hands are turning cold and sweaty from the anxiety. My tummy's already a haven for butterflies. Where oh where is my paper? Why can't I have it now?

The professor then called out some other guy from the other block. He was literally jumping out from joy! I deduced he got such an excellent score. Later on, it was announced that he got the highest in the class. Only 2 mistakes out of the hundred. Such a lucky guy.

Imagine the pressure when my name was called out next. I slowly made my way to the front. My only thoughts were, "Please oh please let me pass that exam."

"Here's a better score," she said with a smile.

I took my time. This is what I saw.

Indeed, it was better by a point. :)

Thank you, dear God for those sleepless nights. They paid off. ;)

How my Friday went like

    6:00 am

     My alarm clocks bids me to take a trip back to reality. No more dreams. No more made-up worlds. No more fantasy. It's Friday anyway, my last battle for the week. My bed doesn't loosen its hold on me but I fought back. It was a struggle. Staying up late to study hyperbolas and all those other conic sections, my mind longed for rest. Still, it wasn't the right time for that. No more chances of sleeping in. Every moment spared must be spent hitting the books, not the sack. Such a bitter choice but deemed necessary by students like me.

     Sure, I was dragging my feet to the shower, quickly bathing and dressing up for school. Grabbed a quick meal so I won't find myself faint in class. Breakfast, anyway, is the most important meal of the day. I had three classes for today. English. Literature. Math. The first two I can manage but the last one's always causing me migraine. Thank the heavens I don't have chemistry. I'd be mad if those two end up together on the same day.

     English was a breeze today. Our professor spent his hour talking about places, people and some of his experiences altogether. Manila was in the spotlight today. He rambled on the image of Manila if it could morphed itself as a person. This city would probably be that charming guy always with a hint of grime on his face. Never had trouble with the quiz for Literature. Boy it does pay to choose watching the movie in class than slacking it off for some troubled sleep. For that perfect choice, I was rewarded with an A in that quiz. :D

     Oh, if only my luck had gotten me past for the day. Never imagined it would end up me committing another shameless mistake on my Math quiz. :((((( All my efforts were put into waste. I felt like crumbling down in the dust. Sure, some of you might say it was no big deal. I could easily make up for it the next quiz. However, for me, even that single quiz could change the way things work out to be. That one shot might mean so much in the end. That could either make or break you. That's why I am so frustrated. It's disappointing to note that I didn't make it again this time. :((

    After the class, I sent my parents a message about the unfortunate quiz. I told them how sad it is not making it to the cut once more. I guess my best still wasn't good enough. :( Not a few minutes after, my phone beeped to the arrival of my dad's message. "It's okay. :) We know you can still do it. Make up for it next time. Stay positive."

     My dad still believes in me. That's enough reason to move forward. :)

PS. Midterms on Literature and Long Test in Math next week. Wish me luck. :) I badly need it right now.