too much hassle for this week

Who ever said college will be a breeze has a messed-up definition of simple and carefree. I've got a paper due tomorrow but guess what, I'm here again, in my blog, writing about the most random thoughts ever. Isn't that what my blog is for anyway? Why am I here then fiddling around with time as if it would stop just so I can finish this writing assignment?

   Simple.

   I ran out of ideas.

   I never knew when I stopped being paranoid once I looked at the clock with its face reading 10 pm, knowing that I've still got loads of stuff to ramble about. It's college. 10 pm is still too early to panic. I've grown accustomed to cramming essays that usually took me days and sometimes even weeks to write.

    THIS. IS. BAD.

    Oh well, I've got to work this fil paper. When did Filipino grow so complicated?! Don't judge me. I have great love for my country but but but . . .

    I THINK I'M FAILING FIL. I don't seem to meet my professor's expectations. I have nothing against him. He's such an amazing, brilliant writer who wittingly scrutinizes every single detail. Who knew such simple color scheme and petty choice of words can mean so much? Yes, he's cool, poetic and all that but I cannot be what he wants me to be. I feel terrible. I feel that my knack for writing suddenly left me hanging along the shadows. When will I ever finish these two papers? One's due tomorrow (Oh dear Lord. I need divine intervention.) while the other one's creeping to surprise me in two weeks' time. (Is that still even considered a surprise?)

    BUT NO. This shouldn't define me. Of course I can do this! I survived the first sem, didn't I? I'll get pass through this too. Wooh. Can luck take me somewhere far off this time?

    Oh gods. I wish.