oh hello

Well, I have not been faithful to writing. A lot of things happened, you know.

People come. People go.
I made a lot of hellos.
I also said a lot of goodbyes.

But I'm fine.

The summer made up for it.

and the extra scholarship.

YES YES YES MY APPLICATION GOT APPROVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just a few more papers and I'll be taking extra classes.

This will be such a fun year!!!!! :))))))

I really don't write a lot about myself like I used to.
But I write prose.

And poetry.

Basically hugot stuff.

If you miss my drama write-ups, I've moved. You can check them out here:

                                                       ellasodrama.tumblr.com

I can't wait to write a book! (And finish pre-med haha)

what up, March?

You know the drill--- it's hell week, I must be doing papers and studying Krebs' Cycle for good times' sake but here I am again,opting to about the nonsensical things in life (considering efficiency in the neoclassical point of view). I know. There's a part of me that urges me to go and just focus on acads till the 28th but goodness who are we kidding? That is just torture.

As always, PSYSC keeps me on my toes. After first round of NEC Elections which happened last weekend, I think I am ready to go for another try. People have been asking if I were considering running again seeing that I failed to secure a spot the first time around. My answer has always been firm. Yes, I am running. No, I am not giving up.

It's just me, I guess. Once I set my heart for something, as long as I have what it takes, then why not? I'll be pushing my limits but what is life without a little gamble? There might be people I might not be able to please, but I know better. I have learned the hard way that I could never be in everyone's favor, not when I am standing up for something I am willing to lay my heart out for. A lot of things can happen but what do I have to lose? There's this opportunity then I might as well take the plunge and let things fall into place.

I won't lie. I am scared. There's always the fear of not being good enough. Still, one question pushes me forward: "if,one day, I look back to this time in which I let my fears hold me back, will I regret my choice?"

I'd rather have a handful "Remember when..." instead of a million"What if..."

Wish me luck.

You deserve much better

I do hope you realize that you deserve much better.

You need not compromise for a boy who sends one word replies after you have just send him a very lengthy message asking how he has been. You need not stare at your phone blankly, waiting for it to 
ring when he is clearly out with his friends again and has forgotten his promise that he’d call. You need not settle for the way he makes your heart race when he finally remembers you after a week of  silence and get it all broken again as he mindlessly ends the conversation with just three messages in  exchange. 

Because darling, if he truly cares, he won’t only call when he’s lonely and down getting that F on his paper again. He won’t only ask for you when things are not going well. You are not just on his speed dial just because there’s no one else left to talk to. If you truly matter, you won’t be his last resort.

If you truly matter, you will be on his thoughts on 7 am when the world is just starting to wake from its slumber. He will wonder if you had a good night’s sleep. He will ask if nightmares had troubled you from enjoying your dreams. You will be the one he remembers at 2 pm when crowds hit the afternoon streets. He will ask if you remembered to eat knowing that you skip meals especially when college demands too much of your time. You will be in his 11 pm thoughts when he’s still out partying just because his friends ask him out and he couldn’t take you because you are far away. He’ll remember to call or even text just so you wouldn’t worry. After all, he knows you’ll be waiting for him but you never text him because he knows you respect his space, as he does to you.

So, darling, don’t go chasing for a boy who does not know how to show he cares. Don’t fall for words alone. Don’t believe him when he tells you he loves you but his actions show otherwise. 

Remember...

you need not be an option. You need not be the second choice to the person you put first. You  deserve the kind of love you are ever willing to risk your life for.